AHHHHHHH!!! aka... FREAKING OUT

basically...

byu is getting rid of my major: elementary education emphasis early childhood education (aka dual eled major)

now, more specifically... here's what happened...

i talked to margo (my roommate from last year), and she told me that our major is being changed. so i went to the advisement center, and that rumor was confirmed. the education department is getting rid of my major. why does this affect me? because i'm not actually admitted into the program yet (i was planning to apply in january). why are they getting rid of my major? because... the previous elementary ed program was licensing for grades 1-8, but the new licensing for eled is grades k-6, which is what my dual program w,aning that some classes that i've taken for the dual no longer count for anything but electives, and i need more classes for the regular eled program.

as part of the change, they have created 2 different paths for the "transition year" (me). i could go the 1) accelerated spring plan or the 2) fall entrance plan. the accelerated would mean that i would HAVE to start this spring, and do another spring (at least) to graduate, and all semesters/terms until i graduate will basically be FULL (as in 9/18 credits). i would need to do an internship, instead of a student teaching... but still, this accelerated plan would still allow me to graduate at the time that i'd originally planned -- winter 2013. if i went through the second plan, and started in the fall (like i'd planned), i would be able to fit in other classes that i'd need, i would still need to intern instead of student teach, i would graduate a year later but i'd also have room for the tesol minor. the tesol minor is an endorsement saying that i am qualified to teach students whose first language isn't english. the advisor said that the program highly recommends this because it not only makes the teacher more marketable, but more school districts are requiring this of the teachers who apply.

my dilema(s)...

i found out about the tesol minor after i'd already started the dual program. the dual program had a little more requirements than the regular eled program, so i decided not to get the tesol minor. going through the second plan, would allow me to get that tesol minor that is highly recommended... though it would cause me to be in school for an extra year. that means that i'd need to find some way to pay for that extra year of school.

if i do the first plan, i'd still graduate within the 4 years that i planned, where i don't have to worry about the funding... because i had planned on paying for 4 years of college. i wouldn't have time or room, however, to get the tesol minor, so i'd only have an eled degree, which won't help me get the best jobs.

most frustrating though, is that this isn't even set in stone. it just passed the college, and it won't actually go for university approval until nov. 9. this means, that i don't even have an actual/legit map to go by (for signing up for classes, for planning, in helping to make the decision). but i was told that "it's pretty much guaranteed" to be this way, although there could be changes. in fact, after going into the advisement, i've only found out what i need to take for winter semester to prepare for this change... which sadly enough i had to register for TODAY. and about registering... what i register for this winter, will determine which plan i will need to take.

what i've done...

i talked to the melba for academic advice on what she thought would be the better move academically for me. i also talked to her about the funding. i talked to uncle mike about the funding and told him about my situation. i talked to mom and dad, trying to see what they thought about the situation and i still wasn't sure what i should do, or which one was better for me (because obviously they were both good choices). so of course... i was FREAKING OUT.

but then today, i also went to the byu devotional... where elder claudio r.m. costa spoke. he opened with a story about a painting he saw of a ship with secured sails, in the harbor. the description said "A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for." he talked about how different people in the scriptures were secure in the conditions they lived in, but how they weren't meant to stay there. that sometimes they just had to "set sail" into unfamiliar oceans to find extraordinary adventures. then he related that to us. he said that we are the ships, and byu (or the current conditions we're in at byu) is the harbor. we are safe here, and while here we must do all that we can to prepare for our careers and families, but that we must be preparing to LEAVE. he talked about how leaving the harbor will bring us happiness and progress, even if there is turbulent oceans outside of the harbor. we shouldn't be afraid because we can be led by the Savior to which oceans we need to navigate, as we make the decisions for our futures. he said that as we do this, it will help us to pray more earnestly, serve more willingly, grow in faith and obedience so that we can have the CONFIDENCE to do what the Lord asks, and eventually become more like Him. he said we have the capacity to be like the people in the scriptures and with faith, to touch the lives of people we meet, but that we must "enter to learn, and GO FORTH to serve".

first let me say that i absolutely love byu devotionals. secondly, after hearing this counsel, i decided to make a decision, and ask the Lord for courage in making and following through with it. i registered for classes, and will be going forward with this decision.

the results (aka my decision)...

• i am now declared as elementary education with a tesol minor.
• i will be entering the program in the fall of 2011 (as planned)
• i will be doing an internship (instead of student teaching) from fall 2013-winter 2014
• i will graduate (a year later than expected) in winter 2014

i'm hoping this works out... pray for me. :S